Then they turn one!!

When you're having a baby you think you are having a baby, not a toddler, not  a little girl, a teenager or a grown up child. I didn't really think of this. That they get bigger and the baby is gone and you are left with a walking talking individual.  It becomes more apparent every day that they are, their own person. And I'm just there to protect and help shape them while they find their way. 

I think it was Alessia's first birthday, that really cemented the fact she was growing up and I was such a major part in helping her have a fulling life. This is such a huge responsibility. So as much as I'm relaxed about a number of things and I love allowing Alessia experience the world in a not so ridged way. I also take my job insanely seriously. I think what would I want someone to do for me. When it comes to things like what I put in her body, making sure she is completely protected from the sun, what opportunities I put in front of her or how I parent her. I am a hundred percent responsible for these really vital things. It's not fair of me not to do them, to the best of my ability.

I remember when Alessia was born, I thought she would be a baby forever. My mum reminded me that the baby stage is short and time is quick so to hold her as much as I could. This advice was the best advice I got. I would sit in bed every night and just let her sleep on my chest and not feel like I was wasting a moment.

Like my mum had said the time came and went and after seven weeks she no longer wanted to lie like that. She was an independent seven-week-old baby that wanted me to jump her up and down on my leg.

Every week she was changing and every stage got better than the last. I never wished to go back a stage, and I never longed for the next I always enjoyed exactly where I was.
It was like day-by-day nothing seemed to happen, but then all of a sudden things were different.

Suddenly I had a toddler, the baby was gone. She had a mind of her own and parenting become more serious. It wasn't a case of just feeding, changing and getting her to sleep. It was thinking of day activities, am I dealing with her right, are we creating a happy, independent little girl or anxious, needy child. You become more and more protective. Which gets harder and harder. I saw children, pull things off her, push her, throw sand in her eyes and you try and deal with it in the best possible way. I wanted Alessia to be able to stand her ground, but not be a bully. 

Still, I just went with my gut, didn't think about it too much and just went with what felt right and hoped there will be few long-term consequences.

On Alessia’s first birthday, I realized that not only is a birthday a special time for the person but also for the parent. It is a celebration of them entering your life. It was such an emotional day from start to finish.

 I enjoyed every moment. I wanted to shout from the rooftops how happy I was and I wanted everyone to join me celebrating it. I had entered a world where there were two parts to every story, the person and then their parents. I hadn't signed up for a toddler. But I sure as hell wasn't going to give her away. I suppose parenthood you are eased in nicely, with visions of ting innocent babies. It lures you in, they take your heart and from there, anything can happen and you're still not letting go.

 

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