When I was growing up I didn’t really think how much my parents loved me, or how they must feel about me. I do remember when I was about 16 I had a horrible situation at school and my mum was so upset it was as though she could feel my pain. That was as close to knowing how much she felt for me, but the moment was soon forgotten.
After having Alessia so many times I’ve thought I can’t believe someone loves me this much. Until now I had not realized that all those sacrifices, comfort, support and encouragement they had shown me over the years had come from a place of complete and utter genuine real raw love. It has made me reminisce over past events, with understanding and clarity why my parents acted in such a way.
It has given me a whole new respect and love for them both, and understanding how challenging times must have been for them. It has left me in awe how they could raise four girls and be able to divide themselves so equally between us. I understand why our house was messy growing up, but am gobsmacked at how they managed to always keep it so clean and always have a lovely dinner on the table.
Like most people I used to wonder why people did certain things acted certain ways, especially when it came to parents and their children. Since having Alessia, I’ve learned not to question anyone’s actions or at least not be judgmental as everyone has their reasons and things are not always as they seem. Everyone is trying their best and peoples actions are usually out of love and trying to do the best they can for their child.
Looking after your own child is like nothing I’ve ever felt, the closest thing to it is the love I feel for my sisters, but with them I know that there is someone else over looking their safety, development, and upbringing. The responsibility ultimately lies on my parents so loving them is easier as I don’t have to make those difficult decisions for them. When I think of what my parents did for us, what they gave up for us I have such gratitude admiration and genuine respect.
I remember wondering why they never left us to go off on holidays on their own, rarely did they leave us even to go out. On one occasion they won a holiday, they could either take us and go for a weekend or go alone for a week. They chose to bring us. Now I understand their actions, how my mum would work weekends, so we were always with a parent. I understand why she cried leaving me as a baby with a minder and subsequently quit her job instead of thinking about their finances they thought of us.
A few days ago I was walking through the jewelry district in Manhattan and I was stopped by one of the Jeweler’s he was a Jewish man working with his son. He stopped me to compliment Alessia, and her hair and to offer her a nut chocolate bar (which of course I didn’t give her) and to tell me how his son had a child with red hair and neither husband or wife had red hair. He then went on to say, only now do you truly realize how much your parents love you. I completely agreed, and smiled. This was so true, if they love me this much I can only imagine how they must feel about Alessia.
Understanding the love they have for me has only made me understand them more.
How can you begrudge and judge how people act when it is all out of love, how can you question their actions when the intentions were in the right place. One day I hope Alessia can experience how much I love her and understand the times i
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