So then I put my phone away.

I didn't realize what a vital part of my existence my phone had become until after I had Alessia.

I would constantly notice that without thinking I was going to grab my phone. Flick through social media, message someone, phone someone, take a photo, a video, check the time or write something I used it for everything. 

I didn't want to miss a moment I didn't want to spend my days distracted by a piece of technology, I didn't want my eye contact to be none existent because I was too busy browsing the web. I didn't want my daughter to feel inferior to  something that doesn't even breath, for her to grow up in competition with my phone. So I made a simple choice, I would put my phone away. When we were together. I wouldn't sit around texting or researching or checking social media. I do love taking photos and videos, but I didn't need to photography every second of her life. Is it not more important to actually be part of if rather than trying to capture a moment I wasn't even part of.

I began to let myself, not  text back or answer a call.  Instead, I was going to fully enjoy my daughter. Not spend my days glued to a screen. One of The biggest things that Changed since having Alessia, my phone became less important. My days more rewarding as instead of constantly having my thumb moving up and down a screen i was actually living.  All by simply putting my phone away, 

FREEFUN DUBLIN, IRELAND

SO I FELL IN LOVE AGAIN

Who doesn't love that feeling you get when you fall in love when your heart skips a beat every time they walk into the room. When you get butterflies in your stomach just thinking of them and giddy in their presence. It's one of life's free gifts it never gets old and it makes you feel alive. 

I didn't think it was possible to feel like this every day and for the feeling to become more and more intense as the days went on. 

No one mentioned that having a child was like getting to fall in love all over again and that every day you wake up and you look at what you created and can't believe it's real. I've had the luxury and luck of getting to bring up my daughter and spend the majority of my time with her. I've had the luxury of being able to travel With her.  I've had the luxury of being able to watch her develop and put my hand on my heart and say 'yes ive done the best job I could'. I have gotten to get to know my daughter inside out and form a bond so strong I could never have imagined in a hundred years it possible. I've gotten to experience something that I will never ever take for granted as it was a gift that every day I will thank my blessing for. I've got the  luxury of having a child that doesn't like routine or structure as much as I don't. Who is happy to wake up in her buggy in the pub in Italy and get up chat and wait while I finish my cocktail. I've got a child that surprises me every day with new jokes and fun she has created. For all of this I'm thankful and all of which make me love her more and more. 

Over the last two weeks in Italy, I've luckily had little stress and little to do. So I've gotten to spend quality time with the love of my life. We have laughed constantly and joked and chatted. 

We took a day trip to Naples and enjoyed octopus, bruschetta and cafe nocello. We went to my favorite cafe in Salerno for a canolli and have checked, double checked and triple checked every shop inside out in Cava. We went to Alessia's first Italian Birthday party, for her cousin's 4th birthday.

Last night while we were out on a Saturday night I noticed again that many people were out with their children in Prams asleep and some awake. It is normal it is made the norm. People don't have strangers look after their children at home and Also, just dont have an extra 50 euro to add to their night. They just bring them out. It is normalised, it is important to go out, socialize and not feel trapped and locked in because you have a child. Like In India there were cots in restaurants to allow your child sleep while you ate. As I walked home at 1am I couldn't have felt happier, I had a couple of carefree hours and then Alessia woke reminding me that I had to get up the next morning and that once I finished and enjoyed the end of my passion fruit mojito it was time to go. 

I have fallen in love again and I Will be forever grateful for this experience. 

FREEFUN, ITALY, CAVA, NAPLES, AMALFI

Don't sweat the small things

As Christmas came and went so did my itchy feet where to Next? Maybe everyone is the same, but I love an adventure, I love the thrill of not knowing, riding along watching the world go by. 

Before I had Alessia, I was in London And I cherished every last minute of my busy tube rides and long six day weeks. Thinking this was the end, I was settled no more adventures so I drank it in and was not prepared to let a moment slip by without fully appreciating my independence. But what I didn't realize was that the adventure was only beginning. 

As myself and Alessia embarked on yet another trip I felt the familiar feeling in my stomach I get each time I reach the airport like a junkie getting my fix. 

Although sleep deprivation had taken the better of me and I had booked my flight with the wrong surname. With eight hours to my flight when I found out I scoured the internet to find out what could be done. After not taking my flight the week previous for a number of reasons It wasn't  going to happen again. I tried to book a new flight, but it wouldn't work so instead I took the two hours sleep that were left and thought, as always, it would work out. 

I always believe things will work out as they are meant to, with the right attitude.So with a positive attitude and too many bags we made our way to the Ryanair desk to plead our case. I was beyond shocked, there was little pleading to be done and they were changing my name there and then. No charge mentioned, then as luck would have it one of the girls behind the desk knew me, from Jo jingles a children's music group myself and Alessia attended. I couldn't believe it. We were off and not a penny to pay. With a spring in my step I went through security and I felt so lucky.

 As always Alessia had been the perfect travel Companion, a pleasure a distraction and great company. As I arrived in Rome and took the bus from the airport to termini station, I sat with Alessia in my arms. My heart melted and I felt a sense of completeness, my adventures were so much better now. 

I looked forward to teaching her all about the history of Italy, the art the architecture the food and culture. We had two hours to kill At the train station so we did what we girls love to do, try on clothes we were happy not to buy, we just enjoyed the fun of trying on different outfits. 

I had so much gratitude for all this precious time I had with Alessia. Life was good, I had even managed to teach my first yoga class and had many more to come.


FREEFUN DUBLIN-ROME

i no longer make decisions that are best for me

As I get ready for yet another adventure. Another plane and numerous trains. I contemplate, am I doing exactly what I want to do. The answer is no, of course I'm not, but I'm 

Doing what is best for Alessia and me. What is best for me on my own unfortunately isn't what is best for  everyone. I find people constantly questioning my actions, but nobody ever really knows why any one person is doing any one thing, so it is best to leave people do what suits them and make their own mistakes. 

I loved Christmas with my gorgeous daughter, it was lovely watching her open presents And enjoy the company and the music.

 I think Dancing was her favorite thing to do as she would hand my mum

Her Yuke and say more more, or demand my parents play another duet on guitar  and Yuke, 

She loved Christmas dinner as it consisted of two of her favorite things prawns and calamari and smoked mackerel pate. 

Of course, when you have a child your nights are simpliar you don't party till six am well, 

I don't anyway, as I couldn't function getting up after half hour sleep. Or I just don't go out as many evenings. You take turns and you only stay out a couple of hours. Alessia still gets awful upset if she wakes and I'm not there so I always go home if she wakes. Theses are my decisions with my reasons. They are not right or wrong, they are just personal to me. My choices are not solely mine at this stage of my life. I can't decide to go out every night as I like to socialize and that's what makes me feel good. I can go out early or bring Alessia asleep in the buggy or in my case run home  when when needed if I manage to get a baby sitter.

 But life chances with a child, you are no longer your top priority your child is. So life decisions becoming confusing as you're making them too

Suit someone else while also trying not to leave yourself out of the equation. So when people wonder and question your actions, they are not always as simple as black and white. As the days draw closer to going back to the Amalfi coast, I am

So happy at how well I practice mindfulness day by day and am thankful that I've enjoyed my daughters life rather than question it, while thinking about what is best for us both.

FREEFUN SKERRIES IRELAND CHRISTMAS 2016

We waved Christmas as we knew it good bye

Our trip to Italy turned out to be a little more extended than we thought, what we came to do could not be done in a few days and really we needed to be here for a month or so. So we waved goodbye to our Christmas and decided to stay in Italy for the indefinite future to get ourselves set up. 

We had a few more incredible meals, we continued to live life as we would have before Alessia was born. We went for dinner late at night and Alessia  slept in her buggy, I would just feed her to sleep. I got to talk, relax and have a drink. I really enjoyed our evening's and appreciated every last second of the time I had. 

 We went to Salerno to visit the Christmas lights, which we had done last year with Alessias great grandmother. It really hit home as to how important it is to enjoy the moment as every second thing are changing. It was really sad to be in the same spot doing the same thing, but the same people not to be still around. As i looked at Alessia's grand uncle walk around the Christmas lights I could see the sadness behind his eyes and the pain of loosing his mother. 

We enjoyed deep fried zucchini flowers and my favorite Cannoli's. I appear to be a creature of habit and every visit I go to the same places to get the same things.  

We were invited out on a number of occasions for dinner. I watched Alessia run around with her cousin neither could communicate verbally, but both enjoyed each other's company. Alessia learned Italian and explored the whole town inside out. On all our trips I've brought very few toys and she constantly entertains herself with things around her. It was incredible to watch as she becomes immersed  in her surroundings and is completely at one with herself and in the moment. To see her excitement as we go to the supermarket and when she spots the shopping trolley. She will then start picking things up and putting them in. 

With Alessia there is no rushing we are taking our time enjoying the second. She has slowed me down so much I don't rush, I don't worry about the little things I let her be. It's ok to drop food on your clothes or eat with your hands, it's ok to jump in puddles, and explore  supermarket shelves, it's ok to just be. Do what feels right without her constantly hearing no no no. I want Alessia to keep that spirit to jump for joy at the simple things in life and not worrying about the rat race and what others do or think. At the last moment, I decided Christmas is too special to me. So we would head home, as Christmas without my family is not Christmas at all. Instead, I would return in the New Year. So we made the trip From Cava to Dublin, the short 12 hour journey. With the visions of our Christmas traditions and Alessia being incredibly good I enjoyed the ride 

Alessia took plane number 20 in 18 months and was only getting better and better with every journey.

FREEFUN CAVA NAPLES ITALY AMALFI

My first Lie

 After many false promises on the last plane home from India, that there would be no more planes till at least January. I soon learned I had infact told my first lie, as we were off again. 

Luckily I have been blessed with a child that loves to fly and to travel. It took us 12 hours from Dublin to Naples and Alessia appeared to enjoy the ride. She Literally couldn't be better.

But I have learned that if I am relaxed and not stressed. Constantly engaging with her explaining what is going on and ensuring her two most important needs are met, food and sleep. Alessia is happy and I am inturn happy.

 

Arriving in Rome was like heaven, the sun beating down and the warm air, oh summer we had missed you. Unfortunately, I appear never to learn from my mistakes and forgot the ordeal and the length of time it takes for the bus to come and then bring us to the train station so we quickly realized we were going to miss our train. With 15 minutes to go we decided to try and change tickets online, we tried And failed three times and were just about to give up when we realized it was in fact the settings on my phone who were to blame. With minutes to spare, we changed our tickets And saved ourselves 120 euro. All the time staying relaxed and not worrying and enjoying the ride. We then ate a terrible Italian lunch while waiting for our train and vowed never to eat by termini station again. 

Our last time in Naples was to say our fair wells to alessias great grand mother so it wasn't the happiest of visits. As the train approach Salerno I could see the Christmas lights that tourists came in the thousands every year to visit. And Alessia had been the dream child. 

Arriving in Cava was not like before, the house was dark and there wasn't a smell of cooking.  It was evident that the house and those that lived in it had, had a hard year and Alessia's grand mother's presence was greatly missed. 

Alessia has spotted some carnival rides, so I took her to visit them. The streets are only for pedestrian and full of shops so Alessia was in her element running up and down into every shop to explore. I loved Italy the feel the smells the people. And Christmas here was so romantic.  It looked like Alessia loved it too.

The greatest gift of all

For me Christmas is the most magical and exciting time of the year. This year it is especially exciting, with Alessia. As I get to do all those wonderful things that you often forget to do or won't do without children.  Like going to see Santa, seeing the Christmas windows, and visiting the moving animal crib and so forth. It's extra special as Alessia is walking and talking and kind of gets that there is something going on. I love everything about it, especially the lights, the music and general festive feeling. 
There are so Many things I'm Looking forward to doing. All of them so simple and innocent. Like going to the turning on of the lights in my home town. Having my family down for Christmas breakfast. Having a drink with friends. Buying Alessia a stocking she can have for years to come. Spending time as a family and having our annual Christmas sing song. All of which cost little but make you feel so Good.

Though it's also a time people can feel overwhelmed and anxious and worried. Are they buying enough do they have enough, I hear lists of toys that children are getting. I understand it's so hard not to indulge and spoil your children. But I think it's such a special time, and getting over the top amount of presents I feel can actually take away from what Christmas is really about.

For me, I hope to teach Alessia how to enjoy the little things. To be in the moment, to have a love for music, walking in the cold all wrapped up, looking at the lights, playing Christmas songs in our kitchen and singing along, making lovely food, enjoying the smells and all the time you get to spend with your family.

If I can teach her how to enjoy the moment, it's a gift she can carry with her, for her whole life. Material possessions are great, but without, learning to appreciate the simple things in life, no amount of material wealth can make her happy. 

Christmas for me is about that feeling I get in my stomach from the end of November till mid January. It stemmed from my childhood. The memories I have of putting up our Christmas tree, we would put our Disney carol video on and get the decorations out. We all decorated it, the lights would always be broken and my grandfather would always come to fix them. Or how every year I would search for the same pair of socks of my mum's to use for my stocking I didn't want anything else this was tradition. Or the trip to my grandparents house to put their tree up, and the Christmas dinner we would have in their house a few days before Christmas.





 I don't remember every toy I got, or how much my parents spend on me, none of that mattered. It was the Christmas spirit they gave me, the love for life, the joy and happiness. So this year for Alessia of course I'll get her something off Santa. So she will have the experience of opening a present, I'm sure this present will not be around in a few years and will be long forgotten. But what I do hope she will remember and what will stay with her is the time I spend with her. Bringing her to the lights, carol services, putting up my parents' tree, and going to see Santa. I want to teach her how to feel Christmas rather than buy it. In hope that this gift will seep into every other part of her life. 

FREEFUN DUBLIN SKERRIES CHRISTMAS