Lost in time

 I don't know if I didn't hear these things are if they were not said. Maybe I just didn't listen. But I feel like nobody mentioned that every moment would feel so much more exciting and I would be brought on so many new adventures, after having a child. 

Though I think really what happened was it has made me appreciate every second I spend with her. 

When Alessia was born, I thought of all the times I heard people speak of sleepless nights and how tired they were or how much they had to do. I thought how can you ever complain about another day as its like wishing one day of their life away and one less day you will spend together. It slows you down it has made me feel like I've never felt before. It's allowed me to get in touch with my sensitive side again, which I think I had almost shut down trying to fulfill my goals and ambitions. 

I have never enjoyed going to do grocery shops so much. I love going out with my straw basket and looking through the vegetables and watching Alessia take it all in; every moment spent with her is priceless. She will do something new, say something new, wave at someone or blow a kiss and I can think of nothing only how amazing she is. Having a baby makes you practice mindfulness even if you don’t want to. What I love most is when she Grabs out and kiss me, she literally kills me with kisses. I know there will come a stage that I won't get so many so I cherish every one. I breathe in the moment as though it is the last, as I do not take for granted this time I am spending with her. Never have I lost myself in time like I do with Alessia. We go to Barnes and nobles and I watch her running around playing and minutes turn into hours and it's like time has been robbed. As I am so content standing and watching her play. Yesterday, she was sure the toy dog was real, she was nervous at first, getting into my arms.  Slowly she ventured over, Waving and making dog noises and patting the dog. Calling it and rubbing its nose. I could have watched for hours.

Our when last week she woke me up at night as she wanted to kiss me, I usually am not a fan of people waking me. But this was such an incredible moment; I drank it in and enjoyed every second. I love when she wants something and starts kissing me as she knows that once she does that my heart melts and my brain goes to mush and I forget what is what. Lying in bed watching her sleep, just feels so amazing.

Having Alessia is the biggest adventure I have gone on so far. So many twists’s and turns. Every day brings something new, and every day you feel even more in love. For example, this morning the heat was so incredibly hot, our usual two hours spent  in the playground turned into twenty minutes. Instead Alessia friends invited us to play. I found it such a privilege to be invited into someone's home. Though since having Alessia it has been a common occurrence. It’s acceptable to have people call at 8am or 9, which is great for me, as I love doing things in the morning. I chatted with their mom while Alessia played with all their lovely toys I was making more friends, learning new things and it was so enjoyable. I was even offered a job.

 Every morning we get up Alessia has a whole new adventure set out for me. She has led me on a path I never would have taken, and I love it. Where hours feel like minutes and weeks feel like seconds. Parenthood is a whirlwind nothing I ever could have imagined. I used to look at people on play dates, and spending all their time doing child friendly things at such a slow pace and I must admit I thought it was boring, not exciting enough. I can truly say it's anything but. No one mentioned when it is your own child it is very different it feels different. You have just as many adventures just different types Alessia is teaching me some of the most valuable life lessons I will ever learn, what's more, she is doing it while making it fun. 

FREE FUN NYC

Her first Robbery

Alessia is the type of girl that likes to carry things with her everywhere she goes; she has a few favourites like fruit, toothbrushes and shoes. When we go into a shop as soon as we enter the fruit section she is screaming and shouting 'Bulla Bulla', until she gets one or two pieces of fruit to carry while I shop. She doesn't enjoy kicking back in her buggy while I wheel her around, from the word go this was a no no. I would sit and watch other babies sleep and relax in their pram, while ours was growing cobwebs at home. Though on occasions since coming to New York if it's too hot or I’m going to buy something heavy I put her in the buggy. She brings her Mango or water melon out with   her and she is happier for slightly longer than she normally would be. Until she is giving out, arching her back, or crawling under the straps to get out of the buggy. The only solution is to carry her home. 

Long may these days last that fruit and to be close to me is all she wants. When I get to the checkout, Alessia doesn’t like to part with her fruit all that easily. She will always try and put up a fight when the sales assistant is trying to scan or weight it.  Though often we are given the fruit for free, as the shop assistant hates to ask for it and I act none the wiser. (We just ensure she has an expensive organic piece).

She will then enjoy walking around the apartment with her new purchase. It is adorable to watch her become so attached to something, to be so delighted with it. When we go to a shoe shop or clothes shop she again needs to hold something she loves holding a pair of shoes in her hand or when I let her out of sling she will go straight to the shoes and socks. We have gone to walk out of foot locker Alessia with a brand new pair of free runs in her hand me completely oblivious. Although considering the size of a man’s shoe the security guard was able to point it out while laughing. There are hours of entertainment watching her, looking at her every move and how happy she is with herself and it is all completely free.

She is every shops worst nightmare and it is her idea of heaven, running around taking everything from the shelves. For days out we go to, Babies or us, Barnes and nobles (which has a fantastic kids section) and the Disney store. She could spend the day running around, checking out every last item. She loves nothing more than when I try shoes on her. She will sit on the ground with a shoe she has picked from the shelve and wait till I try it on, or bring it to the shop assistant and hope they will try it on her foot for her. It’s incredible to think this time last year she was a helpless baby now she is dictating what she wants completely clued into what is going on.

On a couple of occasions I have not noticed she has something in her hand, or that she has put something in the buggy while I wasn’t looking.

Though her first robbery was something else. We were in Bushwich in Brooklyn visiting a friend and we went to a dollar store to pick up some candles. Alessia was acting surprisingly quiet for a girl that was tired and it was hot and usually I would hear her chatting away or giving out or at least saying hi to everyone around.

Though I was immersed in a conversation and was only delighted Alessia was sitting happily in her sling. After leaving the shop and walking a few blocks up the street I glanced down at her. She was in her element, smiling and laughing, holding her new toothbrush. I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw her there with it, in all her innocence. I thought these were most definitely the moments that I will cherish forever. Completely and utterly free, fun and entertainment. I would never have believed I would be the getaway vehicle for my daughter’s first robbery. But there I had it I was and I wasn’t complaining.

FREEFUN NYC   

FREEFUN NYC

mistake. It's a sure 

What I Miss!!!

 I was always in the mindset that after school and college you don’t make another  large circle of friends. What started off as going for a walk with a friend of a friend, led to meeting a group of life long friends. After Alessia was born, I was away for a number of months, so I did not join baby and mother groups. I had a couple of friends that had babies and I was easing myself into motherhood. Basically, continuing doing everything I used to do.

When I returned from Italy Alessis was that bit bigger and although I continued to bring her everywhere there was some places she just wasn't welcome. I was kindly invited to a baby and mother lunch date in one of the girls' homes. Slowly the group expanded and eventually there were eight mothers and their babies.  Four boys and four girls so the perfect matchmaking group.

This time last year I had none of these people in my life. But since coming to New York I really miss this group of friends, which I only acquired after having Alessia. They are one of the most genuine, honest, sincere, kind and loving people I have ever met. They made the entry into motherhood such a Fantastic time. They took away the  chance of any loneliness and instead gave me life long friendships, support, kindness and social gatherings. Without them,  Alessis and I certainly wouldn't have had half as much fun. To have a group of people to experience motherhood with, who get one another, and to have constant support and encouragement is something I would never have deemed important prior to having Alessia. 

Nobody wants to bore none baby friends talking about baby things, it's just not interesting. But to have people going through something similar is a vital part of  the package for maternity leave.

 We had lunch in one another’s homes, we would all bring something and it was always extremely relaxing and easy going.  Just happened, everyone was incredibly good at cooking and I would really look forward to these super chilled out lunches. The babies ranged in age the eldest Alessia and the youngest six months younger. We went for walks, coffee, called to one another for a chat. We joined baby exercise classes, baby yoga and Jo Jingles,

http://www.jojingles.com/jo-jingles-ireland.asp .

One of the girls organized a first aid course in her home; the lady giving it nearly fainted when as soon as we entered we were getting offered wine and beer, and finger food. Yes, this was a social gathering for us; we could bring our babies and our partners and learn about how to save our children from choking while having some wine. It was not only about babies and it certainly wasn’t a forced group of people coming together as we just happened to have children the same age. We really bonded and became friends. There were barbeques where everyone brought their partners, and birthday parties. We even organized a night out without the babies, which was so much fun.  As much as I love Alessia she is insanely active so on most of our outings I did very little chatting more running around after her. Still, I enjoyed it immensely.

When I was sick, each and everyone offered to come by, watch Alessia  and bring me food. One girl came by in the lashing rain with medicine, honey and oranges. This was the biggest support network I had. We didn’t sugar coat things and try and act polite everyone was real and honest and it was so liberating to be part of such a like-minded group of people. Like all good things they come to an end, I’ve come to New York, others have gone away people are going back to work. But it hasn’t really come to an end the dynamic is just changing; they are still a great support and fantastic friends. They are what I miss in the busy streets of New York. That is something that is hard to find and when you do, you don’t take it for granted. I will look forward to our night out on my return and comparing stories and photos of our ever-changing babies.

FREEFUN NYC

She is home

Her wide green Eyes,

Stare in anticipation,

She knows what is coming a smile STRECHES across her face.

Like one we let the worries of the day float away.

We synchronize with the beat,

 Her heart and mine.
Like a melting pot we mold into one.
Her tiny lips sucking for dear life,
Every gulp taking her closer to sleep.
Every gulp taking me closer to my Zen.
The music drowns the air,
There is no room for lingering thoughts.
Her lips slip from the breast.
Her existence lies on my shoulders,
I wipe her sweat away,
She is home the only place she knows.
This is natures way of Furthering the human race.
I am as close to feeling whole, at one with myself,

As I have ever been.
This is true love

This for me is real


 I Think out of every part of parenting and every experience that having Alessia has led to, this for me is by far  the most amazing of them all.   To be able to comfort someone in that way, to watch the excitement in her eyes when she knows that moment is coming. To have the perfect food on tap is one of natures biggest miracles. Without it, I'm not sure I would have found parenting so easy, as I am the type of mother that goes out without nappies, or if I do have them I don't have wipes. So I'm pretty sure I would have been terrible at trying to organize bringing milk with me etc. Most likely would have spent all my time buying new bottles and milk, so thank god it all worked out so well for me.

FREEFUN

 FREEFUN NYCm

We love New York Part 1

So I suppose I Can safely say we love New York. I have spent a considerable amount of time in New York over the last 12 years. I have been back and forward. I think I could even say it was my first love. I remember the last time I left it was like a break up with no closure. I wasn’t ready to leave this city my time here wasn’t done. But a work opportunity came up and I did what I do, I went with my gut and it said to take it. But my head wasn’t ready to go, it was here and my heart was between the job and the city and it was broken in half.

So when this summer we discussed coming back to New York, to see if it is a realistic option to move here. I was again torn as to what I should do.  I was apprehensive as I was no longer young free and single, i had a small commitment to a toddler. Though my gut feeling said go, it was a good time to take the risk. There was little to lose and it might not ever feel so right. My head told me to grow up, become an adult and start making roots for myself. Though that just isn’t me. I’m not sure I'll ever be the definition of a conventional adult. One thing I had promised myself was that I wasn’t going to start making completely different choices because I had a child. So I went with what I would have had Alessia not existed and that was going to NEW YORK. I knew that it would be slightly different then any other trip I had there, but I was willing to give it a chance.

Then everything started falling into place, the most amazing apartment was available in Union Square (a sublet from a good friend). Looking out over Manhattan, with a rooftop garden, barbeque area, gym, 24/7 doormen. So we packed our bags and off we went.

I had always lived in Brooklyn surrounded by artists and vintage stores and claimed I loved it(which i do), but this was a luxury and I think I liked it even more.

If ever I saw a place where there was FREEFUN this was the place for it. It was like a full time job deciding what to do next as there wasn’t enough time to do it all.  With Alessia I was becoming more and more aware of how much this city had to offer.  I was looking at it from another dynamic and there was so much for children.. A whole webpage dedicated to FREEFUN for children and I was making it our job to ensure we experienced it all.

http://mommypoppins.com/newyorkcitykids/100-free-things-to-do-this-summer-in-new-york-city

Every night I research what is going on the following day and pick one or two things and do it. Poetry readings, music gigs, children’s museum, story telling, water parks, open cinemas, playgrounds, botanic gardens, bookshops (have dedicated areas for children to play). There is so much to do and see.

In the mornings we go to our local playground and we hang out with the same group, we are the early group, before the sun, before the crowd before the blow in’s. We are made up of a group of fathers and nanny’s and their children and it is such a lovely way to start our day. We watch as our children play together in the sand, on the slide and swing on the swings. It beats a morning jog or exercise class it is like practicing meditation in the morning as when you are there you are there and you are watching and engaging and nothing else matters. The seconds, minute’s, hours' float away and before you know it you have spent two hours playing with the swings and slides.

Then we usually walk around union square market, we taste whatever they are giving away while soaking in the atmosphere and enjoying every moment. Our days are varied and exciting.  It is nothing but refreshing and I am so thankful that I am lucky enough to be able to experience this time with Alessia as I know it is not always practical for people.

This evening we will pack ourselves up and go to Williamsburg where there is not only a free, open cinema to watch The Tenenbaums, but there is also music and free food and drinks. Sometimes we even buy new shoes (I Know this is not free, but the fun around getting them is). 

FREEFUN NYC

Part two Nothing is Impossible!!!

 

As soon as I got there I felt completely at ease. The venue was incredibly relaxed and easygoing, everyone was overly helpful.One friend even offered to bring food for Alessia so I didn’t have to worry about that, the grooms parents bent over backwards to ensure that I was fed and watered and that I had somewhere to go if I needed to relax or get out of the shade. Another friend's boyfriend offered to watch her while she slept if I wanted to stay later. Everyone really made a huge effort. I knew that the day was going to go just fine. Alessia happily stayed in the sling, she sat and she watched while I took photos I think she was mesmerized by the dresses and scenery and new surroundings. She helped everyone else feel relaxed (as she smiled and waved and chatted with them at key moments of the wedding) and how can you take someone that seriously when they have a baby strapped to them.

 She helped me feel relaxed as every time I looked down at her she melted my heart. I think she made the photos; it was like she knew that she had to stay with me, as she didn’t give out once. She slept there when she needed to and feed if she needed.

It really made me think so differently about things. Usually I would be more anxious about the photos, having not seen the venue prior and having very little conversation with the bride and groom about what they wanted. I would go above and behind while making extra work for myself. Having more things to think of actually made me worry less and just get on with it. Also, when you have a fantastic backdrop for every photo and the bride and groom are extremely photogenic as was the whole wedding party, it also makes the job a whole lot easier.

 

I thought about the day and had Alessia not been there, would I have enjoyed it any more. I felt I really wouldn’t have. All she did was slow me down, make me take in everything, become more aware of how I was feeling,  and maybe leave a little earlier. Also spend less money as we were only interested in FREEFUN She loved it, loved the music, she loves to dance and she loved all the people and just taking in a new place. Alessia made a fantastic friend one of the groom's nieces and it was wonderful to watch them play and how amazing she was with Alessia. The whole day was wonderful, the love I felt and how proud I was of her that she was so adjustable and slotted into the day just fine. The conversations I had, and the people I met were lovely and I was only delighted to have Alessia there to share this experience.

 

The following day there was a barbeque, this was the even more enjoyable as I didn’t have to worry about taking photos, or if Alessia was ok or not. She could run around and play and then slept on me when she needed to nap and I had a very much deserved drink. She swam for the first time in a pool, and loved it, the feeling you get watching your child do something for the first time is indescribable.  You become aware again how much your heart has been taken away and the pride and sense of joy you feel is like no other. She splashed and swam and enjoyed every moment of it, as did I.

 

 

We returned to the city in time to have one last evening out together, we went for the most beautiful dinner. The staff were so friendly and more than happy to welcome Alessia and myself into their restaurant at 9.30 in the evening. We sat beside a lovely gentleman and he invited us to have a glass of wine with him and we chatted for the whole evening (although he didn’t really speak English and I couldn’t make out where he was from) we spoke broken English and did a lot of smiling. Alessia astonished him, as she did the whole restaurant as she sat and ate her olives and squid and prawns. She also was sharing food with another lady on a table across from us, waving and chatting to anyone that would listen. It was an amazing experience, one that I would never have had without HER she was a breath of fresh air and was only adding to my life day by day.

 

FREEFUN LISBON

Nothing is impossible!!

They say something’s are impossible; I was always in the mindset that nothing is impossible. But I must admit this was the first thing that scared me since Alessia was born. I was kindly invited to a friends wedding in Portugal. At the time I thought it would be a lovely break and most likely my first time to leave her for a few days. But coming closer to the wedding for a number of reasons we decided to decline the invite, it just wasn’t in our budget and I had also decided there was no way I was going to leave Alessia for four nights. Not that I wouldn’t be happy to leave her, but I knew she wouldn’t be happy. So what most parents do, they put their child’s needs before theirs. But it’s without thinking and there is no bitterness or wish or want to do anything else you just do what you feel is right and for me it wasn’t right to leave her.

 

But where there is a will there is a way and I really did want to go to the wedding and take Alessia with me. I was asked would I to be the photographer for the day, in return for my flights.  So without much thought or consideration, I accept the offer as I do most things. As I’m in the mindset, just do it as every experience is better than no experience. (Well, in most cases). Since Alessia was born, I have been very relaxed and calm about bringing her anywhere really. It just did not phase me. I think she had been to more restaurants, bars, social gatherings than I was in my whole teenage years.  If I am looking after her at home, I might as well look after her while out enjoying myself. It made me feel alive and there was never anything to loose.

This trip was different it was someone else’s special day, their wedding photos and I could in fact ruin that for them if things did not go according to plan. What I have found with babies you can have a rough plan, but there is no definite. So coming closer and closer to the trip, I became more and more nervous. Alessia is amazing, well behaved, fun and social little girl, but she hates to be away from me. She doesn’t sit in buggy’s are highchairs and certainly doesn’t let strangers hold her. So I decided not to think about it and just hope for the best.

 

Looking for accommodation was more challenging than I would have anticipated, many B&B’s didn’t want children (although they obviously had never met mine) hotels were really expensive, I considered a dorm room in a hostel, which was defiantly not one of my smartest ideas.  I wanted to be somewhere central as I was getting in late and near restaurants, so I could go out in the evening but be close to home. We eventually found a perfect guesthouse, so well priced I couldn’t believe it. So off to Lisbon I went with my little travel buddy. When we arrived and he saw Alessia, I was treated with utmost respect. I was upgraded to a bigger bedroom, as he said I would need more room.

We were right in the center of the hustle and bustle it was a perfect location with a perfect atmosphere.

Our first day was amazing, my travel companion was unreal she was happy to do whatever I suggested as long as she got her naps and enjoyed all the same type of food as me so there was no compromising to be done.

We went for breakfast, we played in the sand, and we paddled in the sea and danced to jazz music on the streets. It was incredible, there was so much FREEFUN to be had. We ate in a fantastic Nepalese restaurant, and Alessia enjoyed every minute. We joined the wedding party for drinks and nibbles on the Friday evening where I got to introduce Alessia to everyone she didn’t know and it was a perfect day.

I began to panic again that night about the photos that Alessia may not nap, or that I would miss key moments, if I had to attend to her. I decided that night that I was going to keep her strapped to me in her sling for the day.

That way I didn’t have to worry about her, she could feed when she needed to sleep if she had to and I would give her breaks to run around. After all, we were in this together.

In saying this Alessia is not the type of baby that likes to miss out on the fun and certainly is not that happy to be strapped to me all day long, especially since she had found her new love of running.

On the way to the train I reminded myself how everything else had worked out and it was because I was calm, relaxed and chilled so I took three deep breaths and went back to practicing mindfulness. After all, I was also here to enjoy myself.

 

FREEFUN LISBON