Here we go again almost like a déjà vu we walk toward the airport. when I had my first daughter alessia my biggest fear was I couldn't travel any more I was trapped stuck. I feared it so much so that I ensured this was not the case. Instead of loosing me I found myself even more. I become
More Selfish with my time, I became more disciplined with my life style and I really began to give To me. I Found yoga a good few years before alessia was born but I really found it when she first arrived.
I needed me time more then anything .i need to find
A Space I Could have for me without relying on someone to look After her having or having to leave my house. So I really found the Mat. There was no excuse no matter what I was getting on that mat. At first it was some what forced but then it came a need and finally just a want that added so much value to my life. When I stood on that mat the world stood still, life as I knew it no longer existed and it was just me and my breath. I no longer was a mother a Daughter a partner I was leah. Slowly got to know myself better and better every day. I found an awareness of how I felt. I found awareness of how my mind felt my body my soul. I learned to process what ever was going on in my life on that mat and bring it to the outside world. I then found my spiritual home in India, I found a teacher, a life style and the most amazing child minder and just like that the universe had answered me and I had such a beautiful set up on the other side of the world. Where I didn't have to rely on anyone else but myself. A place I could go for
peace, Calm and Tranquility. A place I could just be me. We created a Littie bubble just me and my girls exploring the world. They and I both loved the simplicity the structure routine and sun the sounds the colour.
As we embark yet another journey my heart skips a beat my mind calms and my nervous system begins to relax, knowing I have time for me to be. To process our busy lives and get to spend quality time together with Littie distractions. Shutting out the outside world so we can really feel at home as three.
Leaving the hotel wasn't as hard as it used to be.its interesting to observe how every trip is so different. My values slowly beginning to change my needs and wants no longer the same. Where I used to need luxury shopping fancy places to stay, I no longer felt the need. Yes of course I love good food, my love for clothes will never fade, but more as an art rather than a need. I prefer to buy less spend less and really embellish in the simple things is way more appealing to me. To have a much more simple exsistance. To do my yoga, eat in the local restaurants, and just to potter around soaking up the energy around me. What I noticed most about Bangalore was the different energy in the different places I think this was the main thing that made one place better then the other. You could feel a lightness a happiness creativity in some places where other places the energy was heavy darker. My favourite boutique cinnamon where everything is hand crafted with love each piece unique and show casing natural fabrics and unique detail. As soon as you enter this beautiful quaint colonial bungalow you can feel a light energy a happiness a place you could happily stay for hours looking through each individual piece. Though when you have two children running around playing with delicate objects you can't help but feel a little on edge. When you youngest asks you are you an expert at fixing things I know I might be in trouble and proceeds to tell me she definitely isn't. After leaving cinnamon I always feel so happy. I don't necessarily buy anything but usually pick up one piece that I will get excessive wear out of for the years to come. Second stop was a jewellery store, alessia wanted to get herself a pair of ear rings after loosing hers. In comparison the energy was heavy dark , exhausting surrounded by money gold diamonds etc. even the hotel felt so much. Unnecessary fush.
As I drive into the country side my heart feels happy. I feel a calm all over my body I begin to feel at home. I see the back waters the greenery, the coconut trees, I find the whole body settling. And I know this trip was worth while. Although I some what question why I drag my two children half way across the world to the scorching heat.
When I walk to my first practice I feel such extreme emotions a mix of happiness and sadness.
But after I finished my first practice I feel tears streaming down my face a release of emotions I know it is safe to feel and I am without question that this trip was going to benifit me more than I could even imagine.
