I never felt more beautiful or more amazing after having a child. Not that I looked any different maybe just a little more tired. But from the moment alessia was born I made a decision with myself I would never put myself down, I would never say I felt stupid, I felt fat, I felt ugly, ETC Instead I would look in the mirror and say you look amazing today or god don’t I feel great or I love my hair, or remark how intelligent I felt. And funny enough if you tell yourself these things enough you believe it. So every morning I would get up feeling a million dollars and go to bed feeling the same. Why I hadn’t thought of this during my teen years.
What I have really started to noticed since Alessia was born and especially since she started becoming aware of what people were saying, was women or men putting themselves down in front of their children. It causes me so much upset to hear. Of course it’s not intentional but these tiny people are like sponges they soak it all in and what they hear becomes their values and believe system. If their mum or dad is putting themselves down, then the child begins to also focus on these things if its looks or body shape they develop a believe system that these things matter the most and they too start putting themselves down or develop an unhealthy obsession with trying to perfect these things. it’s a vicious circle. Causing so much problems in the future and impacting on self confidence, self believe and self esteem. What I learned at a young age was there was no such thing as perfect and striving for it only lead to unhappiness.
The other day while getting changed my heart skipped a beat when I heard Alessia ask why was ur belly so big??? I actually couldn’t understand it, where had she heard it from. But then a few days later she asked again, and also asked her farther. After just turning three and so aware of her body, never hearing me talk about mine my heart was breaking to think this is our society, so focused on looks and our bodies. What if we just allowed our self focus on the things we loved what would happen?? We might stop living in our heads but actually allowing ourselves feel through life rather then thinking how we should be or shouldn’t be and we might just allow ourselves be.
