As I plan our next trip to India, I sit and think how did we get here.
From the ambitious young adult trying to make her stamp in the TV world. To Grieving my career and hiding my pregnancy in fear that it would sabotage all I had done and prevent me getting work in the future. Stupidly, I thought during my pregnancy that my chances of traveling to India were ruined now and that was one dream that wouldn't be fulfilled in the distant future. But I had forgotten that I have never had a dream that hasn't come true, that as soon as I put my mind on something I go and get it. That ive never let obstacles get in my way and why the hell would a baby. As I think of the last weeks of my pregnancy running around a TV set thinking I needed to get in every last bit of work I could, setting up meeting after meeting with talent managers and producers to ensure work within days of the birth of my daughter.Yes, I actually thought I would be flying back to London Baby in tow, to pick up where I left off. Working 6-7 days a week sun rise to sun set and my baby, which I wanted to breast fed would sit happily in the creche while I fulfilled my dream. I laugh to think of how naive I was. How my dreams changed, I am also thankful that while I did all this no one really told me that this was the most impractical thing I had ever thought would happen. Did I not really know myself???? Because leaving my baby was the last thing I would ever want.
I will never forget how so many people I meet within weeks of Having Alessia questioned and wondered what I was going to do now. When was I going back to work, what work would I do, and told me how important a career is and that I was too young to give it up. When Alessia was six months I did a stint in TV and that confirmed for me that it wasn't for me. Not seeing my daughter 5/6 days a week from 6am to 8pm wasn't a life I wanted to live. At that stage, to take 18 months off, seemed like eternity. But I decided not to think about it. I decided to do what felt right, I decide to stay with my daughter until I thought she was ready to be left with a minder. Until I didn't have to have an adjustment period and watch her cry at the door or I didn't have to leave her broken hearted and feel I was missing out on everything. I wanted to be there for the first step, the first word. I wanted to be there for all her first things. I put all the energy I had into TV into parenting and I enjoyed it way more than I could ever imagine.
But I also needed something for me, and travelling is what gives me a zest for life, takes me out of the mundane and broadens my horizons, so we dedicated The first 18 months of Alessias life to travelling. India was one of the choices, I felt going to India with a baby is a little mad, but going to do yoga teaching training is a little less mad. I Didn't really think about If I would teach after or not. But two months after my trip, it became apparent I was going to be a yoga teacher, who knows how long for but it was happening. As the days ran into weeks and weeks, months, my days were getting very full with yoga classes. But what's more I loved it. It was fun, rewarding and exciting, I Had a vision of where I was going what I was doing and how I was getting there, I had not forced it, I had not stressed about it or panic. I went with the flow I let it grow organically. But I believed in it and me. I didn't put myself down or have self doubt. I knew if I could make it in the tv world, if I could travel alone with my one year one daughter I could open a yoga studio. I booked another trip to India, to do more training.
And as I see my business growing in front of my eyes, and accept that for now it is good and I'm willing to evolve with it, I felt a sense of pride and happiness. Not stressing, not worrying, not panicking allowed me to get there. As I felt a contentment and freedom within me. I realized I was putting my energy in the right place.
Life is good, as I look forward to our second trip to India, I know that I can do whatever I put my mind too, and inside I smile.. I am internally grateful to Alessia for making me realize what matters.
Free fun Skerries
From the ambitious young adult trying to make her stamp in the TV world. To Grieving my career and hiding my pregnancy in fear that it would sabotage all I had done and prevent me getting work in the future. Stupidly, I thought during my pregnancy that my chances of traveling to India were ruined now and that was one dream that wouldn't be fulfilled in the distant future. But I had forgotten that I have never had a dream that hasn't come true, that as soon as I put my mind on something I go and get it. That ive never let obstacles get in my way and why the hell would a baby. As I think of the last weeks of my pregnancy running around a TV set thinking I needed to get in every last bit of work I could, setting up meeting after meeting with talent managers and producers to ensure work within days of the birth of my daughter.
I will never forget how so many people I meet within weeks of Having Alessia questioned and wondered what I was going to do now. When was I going back to work, what work would I do, and told me how important a career is and that I was too young to give it up. When Alessia was six months I did a stint in TV and that confirmed for me that it wasn't for me. Not seeing my daughter 5/6 days a week from 6am to 8pm wasn't a life I wanted to live. At that stage, to take 18 months off, seemed like eternity. But I decided not to think about it. I decided to do what felt right, I decide to stay with my daughter until I thought she was ready to be left with a minder. Until I didn't have to have an adjustment period and watch her cry at the door or I didn't have to leave her broken hearted and feel I was missing out on everything. I wanted to be there for the first step, the first word. I wanted to be there for all her first things. I put all the energy I had into TV into parenting and I enjoyed it way more than I could ever imagine.
But I also needed something for me, and travelling is what gives me a zest for life, takes me out of the mundane and broadens my horizons, so we dedicated The first 18 months of Alessias life to travelling. India was one of the choices, I felt going to India with a baby is a little mad, but going to do yoga teaching training is a little less mad. I Didn't really think about If I would teach after or not. But two months after my trip, it became apparent I was going to be a yoga teacher, who knows how long for but it was happening. As the days ran into weeks and weeks, months, my days were getting very full with yoga classes. But what's more I loved it. It was fun, rewarding and exciting, I Had a vision of where I was going what I was doing and how I was getting there, I had not forced it, I had not stressed about it or panic. I went with the flow I let it grow organically. But I believed in it and me. I didn't put myself down or have self doubt. I knew if I could make it in the tv world, if I could travel alone with my one year one daughter I could open a yoga studio. I booked another trip to India, to do more training.
And as I see my business growing in front of my eyes, and accept that for now it is good and I'm willing to evolve with it, I felt a sense of pride and happiness. Not stressing, not worrying, not panicking allowed me to get there. As I felt a contentment and freedom within me. I realized I was putting my energy in the right place.
Life is good, as I look forward to our second trip to India, I know that I can do whatever I put my mind too, and inside I smile.. I am internally grateful to Alessia for making me realize what matters.
Free fun Skerries
