Often we forget to appreciate when things are good, instead we look for things to worry and stress about forgetting to be in the moment. The last few months for me were hell. My once bubbly, happy, energetic, outgoing daughter was gone. Instead, I had a cranky, clingy, lethargic, sick little girl that was so miserable from one start of the day to the next. I might as well have been given a different child, and as though Alessia had been taken from me.
It wasn't only me who noticed it was her dad, aunts, grandmother, great grandmother, grandfather. She didn't want to play, she didn't want to eat, talk, walk. She was so miserable. As the weeks went on and still no improvement, I tried homeopathy, a doctor, natural path, no amount of money was too much. No amount of visits was too much. I wanted my daughter back. As I went into overdrive mode googling and researching what might be wrong. A number of things came up. I didn't care what it was I just wanted to know.
Then there was the worst day when we were rushed into temple street by ambulance. Alessia shell shocked and distraught, my heart broken, letting her go through such an ordeal, but also hoping we would get to the end of the mystery illness.
But nine hours later and nowhere closer to the truth. We left with a heavy heart.
I hadn't realized the toll the last several weeks had taken on me. I didn't notice the worry and stress I was carrying as I went to bed and got up after little sleep, to a shell of my former child.
But finally I could see her coming back to herself, after trying a number of different things. It was hard to know what had worked and what hasn't. Although still I could tell she wasn't a hundred percent.
I had never felt so grateful, so happy. I couldn't hug and kiss her enough still can't.
My heart breaking into a million pieces and bursting with pride when I saw her eat a bit of food or smile or play with her toys.
Still, I am slightly beating myself up for taking her to the doctor that day as I see the impact it has left on her, how my secure, happy girl is so much more nervous and worried of new things and people.
But I am also relieved and delighted she is almost back to herself.
If anything, it's made me ensure to drink in those moments, to enjoy every second. To never take for granted my health or hers. It has made me look at her again in a different light and has grounded me. My life had gotten busier, I'm working hard, while also being a full time mother. I've started to have some me time too, so I was beginning to rush around and not be in the moment as much.
But this last Few month has made me step back and look at what's important and to appreciate every second while also enjoying the moment.
FREEFUN SKERRIES DUBLIN
