All good things come to an end

As I see an end to my second month, I feel all sorts of emotions. The last eight  weeks have seen many challenges, but also so many rewards. Business opportunities, excitement, fun, new people  and achievements. The biggest obstacles have been, hurting my back and getting sick. But luckily with patience and awareness my back healed and I got over my illness.

The biggest thing I learned was no matter what the situation I should visualise the best out come of the situation and hope it arrives no matter how tired or worn out I feel. 

My knowledge I've learned is endless. My confidence in teaching has reached a new level. My love for jewellery has grown stronger and our love for clothes the same. India has given me everything  I could want from a trip. The colours, the smells, the people. I had concerns for the 300hour teaching training I worried how I would manage it with alessia. But It was amazing I feel so relaxed calm at ease. Alessia the same, asking could we stay for ever and ever.  

As Christmas approaches, it's hard to imagine the cold, Christmas songs, lights, family and friends celebrations all the things I love. My favourite time of year. But for us Christmas won't happen on the 25th of December. So we will just wait a little longer and celebrate on the 5th and 6th of January when santa has agreed to come visit us. We will celebrate New Years in a wonderful palace hotel and enjoy the cheap luxuries of India before we depart. As I make the most of the end of our trip, savouring every minute of sunshine, calmness, shopping, exploring and study time. I look forward to going home to share my knowledge, 2018 has so much to offer. 

Freefun 

A little closer to my goal

As the first month comes racing in, and I have only five weeks left of my trip. I think of all I've accomplished, not only do I have my 200h teaching training I am now qualified in prenatal yoga and yoga therapy.

 The month had its challenges. Allowing Alessia become relaxed and at ease with Sudha her Minder. Alessia getting used to her surroundings, and understanding  she was not going to see all the people she is used too seeing daily.  Also the heat and the early mornings. Hurting my back, Doing my own daily practice, attending my classes and also doing hip opening and back bending classes. 

But it also had so many rewarding and exciting times. Watching Alessia come into herself, watching her socialise and chat to everyone form relationships and bonds. Seeing my practice develop, filling my head with new and exciting yoga knowledge. Meeting wonderful friendly peop
le. Exploring the shops the sites and tasting new and delicious food. Enjoying our daily coconut, where we chill out and chat and watch the world go by.





 This month has thought me so much, it  has opened my eyes to so many things good and bad. As I have one week between my courses ending and next course 300 hours teaching training beginning, I am a little apprehence of what Lies ahead. But I am throwing any worry over my shoulder and deciding I can only do what I can do. What will be will be, there is not ideal. 

I once again think how fortunate I am to be able to have this experience, regardless of the challenges it will throw at me. 

Freefun 

I didn't think it could get any better,

As a second week comes and goes, a whole new meaning comes from my trip. Relaxation, acceptance, new possibilities. I let go of any concerns, worries and thoughts that are not helping me and my future. I'm enjoying every second of this experience. I've never enjoyed something so much as when I am in the room practicing my Asana.  

I am in that moment there is no outside world just the here and now and that pose. Every thought floats away and leaves me feeling completely at one with myself. Already I've meet some wonderful people who are making the trip even better.  Alessia is day by day coming into her own and is once more light hearted and fun. She is loving every moment. 

Practicing her yoga interacting with everyone and enjoying the ride. The knowledge I've acquired over the last two weeks in terms of yoga theory is amazing I'm so excited to put this knowledge to use and share it.  Last years trip was such a success, I worried  would this year be so good. But actually it is better. Alessia is older, she is happier and more relaxed and I feel so chilled.

 Mysore is such a wonderful beautiful place in India. Wonderful houses, wonderful people, wonderful clothes, jewellery and of course food. Two weeks in and seven to go I am so excited to think of everything I will learn over the coming weeks. 

Freefun Mysore India

No expectations

What I've learned very early on is that you can have no

Expectations when traveling with a baby or a toddler. All your ideals need be be erased and all if 's and buts forgotten. Otherwise you are leading yourself into a hole of disappointment. 
'

who knew life could be so good ??

Growing up i had a feeling that life was meant to be hard, a struggle a stress, constant worry, i didn't realise it actually is so precious and sacred.



As another year comes and goes another birthday celebrated. I think to myself that with every day i become a little more happy, a little more self assured, a little more confident, a little more content, a little more in love with my life, my friends my family and myself.


This past nine months have been incredible. Firstly to be in the one spot, in the same country, it has allowed me relax, allowed me to get to know people and not have to up and leave but to really get to know people. People that I would consider very good friends, like minded people. People that have thought me that friends can be as good as family. I have also got to see all my old friends got to spend time with them, be part of their lives.

I have lost all my inhibitions, I have become fully comfortable in my own skin and I have learned to live my life not others. I've fully excepted myself for who I am and whats more Ive got to spend the last 28 months getting to know my beautiful daughter and watching her grow into a fantastic little girl. I have watched my business grow from not even planning on being a yoga teacher to watching it flourish. I have met the most beautiful people that come to my classes. Open, kind, loving, caring people. My days are spend, doing what I love, I am surrounded by positive energy. I do not stress or worry where i am going or what i am doing. I am just living, I am no longer waiting to live. Life has begun and I have eventually stepped on board and maximising every minute of every day, as they are valueless. I will not look back on these past years with regrets or wishes or wants. I am doing exactly what i want and whats more i am loving it. I have been given the gift of motherhood and it has not only given me the chance to fall in love again, it has given me the chance to really figure out my values and morals and fully embracing them, to educate another human being and share my journey with her. 

Who knew life could be so great, as we get ready for another trip to India, as we do our last minute prep, as i teach as many classes as i can fit in, as I practice my own yoga, I am so excited to embark our next journey. I am so thankful for my determination and courage. Doing what ever feels right rather then what others think is right. I am thankful for all the people around me who have encouraged me rather than pull me down. I am living my life i do not want to be a by stander in my own life. It feels fantastic, i am ensuring to live my life just as i please and not letting thoughts or anxiety get in my way






Who knew life could be so good
FREEFUN DUBLIN

When did children become so quiet

Then I noticed how quiet children have gotten. 

As I've gotten much busier working, I make sure to take one or two afternoons where myself and Alessia get on the train and go to dublin. To do some of our favourite things, dance to
Buskers, try new food, look in the shops go to museums. 

Alessia loves the train, although not so relaxing for me. 


As we walk up And down and check out every seat, look out the window play ring a

ring a rosey around the poles. Play eye spy, read books, press the button, the list goes on. It's always a pleasure when there is other children on the train. They help distract her, keep her entertained, but also means we are not the noisiest on the train. As we got on the train last week I thought to myself great loads of other children. 

But to my astonishment they were all so quiet. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. But at further inspection I noticed they all had phones in their tiny hands. As their parents sat and looked out the window and did their own thing.

I felt saddened that this is how our society is going. Are these not the most valuable years where children learn to develop their imagination, their creative side. As we went along in the train there is so many things to see and talk about. I thought to myself how busy my life had come and how important this time was. I know how technology can't be avoided I know it plays a very positive rule in the development and learning of a child. But at a young age I feel it's just hindering their development, speech, and communication, attention span, creativity, relationships.


 As I'm constantly told yes I'm over the top and it doesn't need to be all our nothing. But I'm not sure I feel comfortable with our children becoming so quiet. 

India here we come, and what a way we came.

As I plan our next trip to India, I sit and think how did we get here.

From the ambitious young adult trying to make her stamp in the TV world. To Grieving my career and hiding my pregnancy in fear that it would sabotage all I had done and prevent me getting work in the future. Stupidly, I thought during my pregnancy that my chances of traveling to India were ruined now and that was one dream that wouldn't be fulfilled in the distant future. But I had forgotten that I have never had a dream that hasn't come true, that as soon as I put my mind on something I go and get it. That ive never let obstacles get in my way and why the hell would a baby. As I think of the last weeks of my pregnancy running around a TV set thinking I needed to get in every last bit of work I could, setting up meeting after meeting with talent managers and producers to ensure work within days of the birth of my daughter. Yes, I actually thought I would be flying back to London Baby in tow, to pick up where I left off. Working 6-7 days a week sun rise to sun set and my baby, which I wanted to breast fed would sit happily in the creche while I fulfilled my dream. I laugh to think of how naive I was. How my dreams changed, I am also thankful that while I did all this no one really told me that this was the most impractical thing I had ever thought would happen. Did I not really know myself???? Because leaving my baby was the last thing I would ever want.

I will never forget how so many people I meet within weeks of Having Alessia questioned and wondered what I was going to do now. When was I going back to work, what work would I do, and told me how important a career is and that I was too young to give it up. When Alessia was six months I did a stint in TV and that confirmed for me that it wasn't for me. Not seeing my daughter 5/6 days a week from 6am to 8pm wasn't a life I wanted to live. At that stage, to take 18 months off, seemed like eternity. But I decided not to think about it. I decided to do what felt right, I decide to stay with my daughter until  I thought she was ready to be left with a minder. Until I didn't have to have an adjustment period and watch her cry at the door or I didn't have to leave her broken hearted and feel I was missing out on everything. I wanted to be there for the first step, the first word. I wanted to be there for all her first things.  I put all the energy I had into TV into parenting and I enjoyed it way more than I could ever imagine.

But I also needed something for me, and travelling is what gives me a zest for life, takes me out of the mundane and broadens my horizons, so we dedicated The first 18 months of Alessias life to travelling. India was one of the choices, I felt going to India with a baby is a little mad, but going to do yoga teaching training is a little less mad.  I Didn't really think about If I  would teach after or not. But two months after my trip, it became apparent I was going to be a yoga teacher, who knows how long for but it was happening. As the days ran into weeks and weeks, months, my days were getting very full with yoga classes. But what's more I loved it. It was fun, rewarding and exciting, I Had a vision of where I was going what I was doing and how I was getting there, I had not forced it, I had not stressed about it or panic. I went with the flow I let it grow organically. But I believed in it and me. I didn't put myself down or have self doubt. I knew if I could make it in the tv world, if I could travel alone with my one year one daughter I could open a yoga studio. I booked another trip to India, to do more training.

And as I see my business growing in front of my eyes, and accept that for now it is good and I'm willing to evolve with it, I felt a sense of pride and happiness. Not stressing, not worrying, not panicking allowed me to get there. As I felt a contentment and freedom within me.   I realized I was putting my energy in the right place.
Life is good, as I look forward to our second trip to India, I know that I can do whatever I put my mind too, and inside I smile.. I am internally grateful to Alessia for making me realize what matters.

Free fun Skerries 

Days can be long, but the years are short.

So then she turned two, two years came and went. Two fantastic years, I've traveled I've become a parent I've retrained. I've started a new career, I've become more active in my social Life again. I've truly learned who I am what I am and I've made some of the most amazing friends along the way.

I've traveled to four continents and nine countries. All the while I never once questioned what was I doing. 

Where am I going, trusting it was going to fall into place. While enjoying parenthood like nothing I've ever enjoyed before. Of course, there are challenges but doesn't everything. But mainly all it has done is really allowed me to get to know Leah even more. While getting to bring up the most wonderful little girl I could ever have asked for. Every day I feel lucky and thankful that life has worked out this way. 

But the interesting thing is that as soon as I stopped worrying  about life, stopped finding it hard, stopped questioning my actions, stopping trying to be something someone, stopped over thinking, stopping looking at the time, stopped listening to other people, and started to just be. Started to love myself, not question myself, started going with my gut and starting trusting myself. Then life became simple, fun, exciting, the anxiety floated away, the stress floated away and I became light relaxed and at one with myself. 

Every day I'm thankful for Both my health and mental health as I know life was not always like this and I appreciate the simple things. So when I wake up beside my daughter smiling at me and hugging me and pulling me out of bed, I don't take it for granted, I didn't complain and wish I could sleep longer, I instead feel incredibly lucky that I get to enjoy life so much and don't want to miss a moment. Two years, two fast wonderful years, I've no regrets I don't and won't look back, and wish to Change anything, as my career grows and I make plans for the future, I think why didn't I stop worrying a little earlier, things might have gotten easier quicker. But with no regrets I'm thankful for what I've got now. Everything I could wish for. My health, happiness, wonderful family and friends while doing a job I love. As the countdown is on for my next trip to India, I relax, soak up the sunshine and continue to enjoy all the wonderful new experiences that life keeps throwing at me. 

FREEFUN DUBLIN SKERRIES  

There is no certainty when it comes to life.

 Often we forget to appreciate when things are good, instead we look for things to worry and stress about forgetting to be in the moment. The last few months for me were hell. My once bubbly, happy, energetic, outgoing daughter was gone. Instead, I had a cranky, clingy, lethargic, sick little girl that was so miserable from one start of the day to the next. I might as well have been given a different child, and as though Alessia had been taken from me.

It wasn't only me who noticed it was her dad, aunts, grandmother, great grandmother, grandfather. She didn't want to play, she didn't want to eat, talk, walk. She was so miserable. As the weeks went on and still no improvement, I tried homeopathy, a doctor, natural path, no amount of money was too much. No amount of visits was too much. I wanted my daughter back. As I went into overdrive mode googling and researching what might be wrong. A number of things came up. I didn't care what it was I just wanted to know. 

Then there was the worst day when we were rushed into temple street by ambulance. Alessia shell shocked and distraught, my heart broken, letting her go through such an ordeal, but also hoping we would get to the end of the mystery illness. 

But nine hours later and nowhere closer to the truth. We left with a heavy heart. 

I hadn't realized the toll the last several weeks had taken on me. I didn't notice the worry and stress I was carrying as I went to bed and got up after little sleep, to a shell of my former child. 

But finally I could see her coming back to herself, after trying a number of different things.  It was hard to know what had worked and what hasn't. Although still I could tell she wasn't a hundred percent.

I had never felt so grateful, so happy. I couldn't hug and kiss her enough still can't.

My heart breaking into a million pieces and bursting with pride when I saw her eat a bit of food or smile or play with her toys.

Still, I am slightly beating myself up for taking her to the doctor that day as I see the impact it has left on her, how my secure, happy girl is so much more nervous and worried of new things and people. 

But I am also relieved and delighted she is almost back to herself.

If anything, it's made me ensure to drink in those moments, to enjoy every second. To never take for granted my health or hers. It has made me look at her again in a different light and has grounded me. My life had gotten busier, I'm working hard, while also being a full time mother. I've started to have some me time too, so I was beginning to rush around and not be in the moment as much. 

But this last Few month has made me step back and look at what's important and to appreciate every second while also enjoying the moment.

FREEFUN SKERRIES DUBLIN