It was meant to be!!

While I was pregnant, I had a romantic idea of driving all the way to Italy after the baby was born and spending time with Alessia’s family. I pictured myself sitting in the front of the car listening to music and watching the world go by. It was going to be perfect. I had got a lot of different opinions from a lot of different people. I feel there is some sort of misconception that it is impossible to travel with a baby. (I know that this is not everyone). That it's too stressful, too much work, too long of a trip that’s it's just not practical or realistic.

I did question, was it the right thing to do, should I not be trying to make more money or start making a home for us? But my gut feeling was to go and I have always felt we make our own reality. I also felt that I was Alessias’s home so as long as she had me there was no reason not to go anywhere. When an opportunity like this comes up at just the right time you throw the guilt over your shoulder and forget what others think and just go with it.

So 11 weeks after Alessia was born, we packed the car and headed for Naples. Ok the reality of the drive was nowhere as romantic as the thought. I did not get to sit in the front seat listening to ‘Lucius’ with my hair flowing out the window and counting the fields of sunflowers that passed me by. Instead, after two minutes in the car we had a baby that hated her car seat, there was no comforting her, or little that could be done. So I sat in the back seat singing nursery rhymes, fanning her and handing over toys and stopping at every petrol station from Ireland to the Amalfi coast. On route we slightly changed our plans, and drive at night when it was cooler and Alessia was happier to sleep. During the day we relaxed in beautiful towns and ate nice food. I think if I were not breastfeeding I would have found it challenging worrying was the milk at the right temp, was everything sterile etc. But we had the luxury of not having to worry about anything like that we had food on tap. I think this is when it really hit home that I was a mother and I had another person to care for. Astonishing enough, I enjoyed every minute of the adventure just different than I had anticipated.

It was amazing for Alessia to spend time with her great grandmother. To see the love she had for her was incredible. I now could more closely imagine what it must be like to lose a child and Alessia’s great grandmother had lost two including Alessia’s grand father . So the time they spend together was extra special. 

We picked fruit, we ate lovely meals, and we had guests over and were invited out, we picked olives to make olive oil, went for coffee drove down the Amalfi coast and we even visited a town called Alessia. There was so much Free fun to be had. 

I got to know many people in the town, although few words were spoken between us. Very few people spoke English and my Italian was horrific. Though everyone knew us and smiled and waved and chatted with Alessia. I Literally could not walk down the street without people staring and wanting to touch and kiss and her (I DO THINK THE RED HAIR HELPED THIS). Waiters would offer to hold her when we were out for dinner, it was like nothing I had ever seen.

The trip was amazing and allowed myself and Alessia really bond without any external stresses of day-to-day life. All I had to worry about was feeding her and getting her to sleep. The time Alessia spent there was priceless, she was held and kissed and loved so dearly, she even learned how to make Calazone.

It was meant to be as sadly Alessia’s great grandmother Passed away very unexpectedly in January and our next trip over was not as light-hearted. I feel like Alessia had made her last few months extra special, had warmed her heart on her final days. She made her excited about life and she got to celebrate her great grandchild. I feel she passed away peacefully after seeing videos of Alessia a few days before and she was really looking forward to our next trip over. 

This really cemented the fact that I should always go with my gut, as I don't believe in regrets, but had we not gone, I think this could have been something I would have regretted.

FREEFUNITALY

What they don't tell you??????

When I was pregnant no one mentioned I was going to meet the most wonderful new friends. I would not be able to enter a shop or walk down the street to get groceries without chatting to numerous people. That in a city as big as New York, that we could become locals in our supermarket, how many millions cross through those doors every day?? Yet they remember the girl with the red hair. Even the security guard is cooing and smiling at you and shop assistants are waving from across the store.  This is as close to feeling like a celebrity that I will ever feel.

 

  All social boundaries are ignored and everyone men, women and children are your friends.  But not only superficial friendships are made, real friendships too, with like-minded people who are also in the same phase of life. First time moms and dads. I think they have to be the friendliest bunch of people I have ever met.

 

 I was not prepared for the amount of lunches, coffee mornings, play dates, dinners, and social activities that come with having a baby. 

It has never been easier to meet people; I have never felt like I have had so many great people around me. People that I have only met and yet I can contact them from across the ocean and they are there. 

I was not prepared for all the smiles I receive the amount of strangers whom I have had a moment with and the kindness people have shown me.

I've travelled alone with Alessia on a numerous occasions, and so many people have gone out of their way to ensure I am ok. 

Don't get me wrong; I have had people run the other way when they see me coming to sit down. Restaurants tell me there was no room in a blatantly empty restaurant. People getting up and change seats while I was breastfeeding on the train, a man nearly having a nervous breakdown when he saw me coming to sit beside him on the plane. But I always politely ignore them and go back into my mindfulness where I actually don't notice them. I only notice those that are helping me or smiling at me or offering assistance the others don't matter.

 I had made one conscious decision when Alessia was born and that was no one else mattered. If I was going to enjoy parenthood, I SURE AS HELL WAS NOT GOING TO WORRY WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT.

It is as though having a child makes it ok to invite complete strangers to go on outings with you, come to your house for coffee and take each others numbers after a four minute chat. Having spent a few weeks in NYC we were already getting dinner invites and being asked out on multiply day trips, and as much as I would like to think it's because I have such a wonderful personality and people just want to be my friend. I really have my daughter to thank as without her I wouldn't be getting these invites, and sure wouldn’t have been invited to a play date yesterday which just happened to be accompanied by the most  wonderful food.

I have been introduced to a world of free fun, getting to discover my inner child again and luckily along with so many like-minded people. 

One day I can thank Alessia for what she had added to my life.

FREEFUNNYC

The beginning

What am I? Who am I? Why am I writing this? I am 30 years of age a mother of a 13-month-old beautiful girl Alessia and currently we are living in NYC.  Trying to do my two favorite things which are travelling and story telling FREEFUN NYC.

Alessia has done more travel than I had done by the time I was 18. By the time she is sixteen months she will have travelled to eight different countries, three different continents lived away for nine out of seventeen months. She will have experienced things that some people will never get to do. I had always heard of people speaking of losing themselves in parenthood, forgetting who they are. No longer doing things for themselves. “Make sure and get everything done before having children”. It sounded as though having a child was almost like giving up, ambition fun social life gone. (Why would you have children if this were the case?)

What I have found is the polar opposite; I have found myself in parenthood. Not that I didn’t know who I was but more I am doing exactly what I want. Spending time with the people that are most important to me, those who make me feel good. It has slowed me down; it got me to reevaluate what I want. It made me get in touch with myself again, to enjoy the simple things and really get into the moment. To figure out what really matters.

         

I suppose prior to having Alessia, I did not decide or think about what type of parent I wanted to be. I didn’t read any books one would say I went into this blindfolded. My career was taking off and it most definitely was not the most ideal time to start to settle down into family life.

I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for what parenthood was going to be like. But all of a sudden you no longer only think about yourself. Your every thought is taken up with the well- being and containment of another human, which you have created. The love and bond is like no other and you fall madly in love.

From the moment Alessia was born, I went with my gut; my natural instincts kicked in and there was little thoughts are thinking. It was as though my whole body had decided to practice mindfulness. There was no way I was missing a moment of this precious time. I was not going to worry about not going out, not sleeping, that my career was on hold nothing mattered. Just the time I would spend with Alessia.

I kept hearing about spoiling babies. That I should not hold her too much, that she needs to sleep in her crib SO ON SO ON. But that all felt wrong, so wrong to me.

I WAS GOING TO MAKE MY MISTAKES NOT SOMEONE ELSES. 

From day one we used a sling, and a boob and 13 months later am still using both. When you feed your baby that is all you can do you sit and feed, and at the moment there is no guilt for not cleaning or studying or creating anything etc etc you just have to be. You are nourishing another human; it has to be one of the most fascinating things ever.

We Co sleep, as for me this made sense, It didn’t make sense getting out of bed every couple of hours, Alessia was what they call a Velcro baby attached to my hip. One thing I was never going to do was allow my baby to cry it out. So a sling, co-sleeping, and bringing her with me everywhere was how we combated it. 

She was a dream, we ate out, we went to the pub, into Dublin for the day, met friends, had dinner parties, we drove to Italy and stayed for a few months. We lived our lives and Alessia fitted into it very nicely. You don’t get this time very often so we decided to use it wisely. 13 months on, and three more trips later we are in NYC, currently deciding will we move here. End of September Alessia and myself will head to India to do a yoga teacher training. So life is defiantly not becoming static because I have a child it is making me do everything I want to do as I can see how quickly life changes.

One thing I have noticed is that there are endless amounts of FREEFUN to be had.

FREEFUN NYC